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[Johan Heyns]

A redhead accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him something nutritious. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a blonde. He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning herself. He said he didn't see any difference on the first two days, but after it sunk in on the third day, he came home to a clean house and the dishes were washed and put away.

The second man had married a brunette. He bragged that he had ordered his wife to do all the cleaning, all the dishes, and all the cooking. He said he didn't see any results on the first day, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a redhead. He shared that he had told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, the dishes washed, the lawn mowed, the laundry done, and hot meals on the table every day. He said the first day he didn't see anything, and the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye...just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and find the mower in the garage.
Why aren't there any more redhead jokes?
? Someone told them to a redhead.

Sorry Barbara, No Offense meant, intended or implied. Couldn't resist!

[Robert Yarger]

Ha!!! I am no longer in Barb's cross hairs.  Johan, you are the next target. 

[Canuck]

Hey Robert, don't forget Barb has your phone number and she was very close to calling you yesterday!  Heck, you've even spoken on the phone to her before

[Robert Yarger]

A shutter just went down my spine an the thought.  Tell her I'm going to get the shot.  For God's sake tell her.  If she called my house, she might accidentally get my wife, and then the apocolypse would begin. 

Oddly, although I have spoken to his wife, I have never spoken to John.  He must be the strong but silent type.

[Robert Yarger]

Oh, by the way Barb, hope that you are not in any way offended by our jabs.  They are done in jest, and we all just assume that you have sense of humor becuase you married John.   

[Johan Heyns]

Robert, she must be spitting mad and not be able to talk or type since nothing is coming forth!! 

I humbly apologise for any offence!  As Robert said it is just a bit of fun.     

You must be at least a bit nuts to be mixed up with a metagrobologist!!!

[Robert Yarger]

Sure, I smooth things over, and you just kick the bee hive again.  Any future blood spilled is on your hands now. 

[Johan Heyns]

Don't duck now!!!  Who started spilling blood and waking beings that should be left well alone!!

[Robert Yarger]

Oh, and you think you're safe just because you are seperated by an ocean. 

Don't duck now!!!  Who started spilling blood and waking beings that should be left well alone!!

 

Waking beings that should be left well alone.  Many you really have this issue with kicking bee hives don't you.  Well mister quote master, do you have any famous last words.   

Also notice that I changed my profile quote to cover my arse.

[Johan Heyns]

Wit is a treachorous dart - perhaps the only weapon with which it is possible to stab oneself in one's own back.  Geoffry Bocca

Women...are always timid by nature, soft, slow and therefore more usefull when they sit still and watch over our things.  Leon Alberti

Only a fools tests the depth of the water with both feet. African Proverb

[Robert Yarger]

Women...are always timid by nature, soft, slow and therefore more usefull when they sit still and watch over our things.  Leon Alberti

Are you sure that Leon Alberti has ever met a redhead.  They are strong and fiesty (the culry haired ones are especially onery), somewhat spiteful and all around spit-fires.  They are unstoppable when they get an idea stuck in thier minds and someone you definately want to challenge. 

Uhh!!! Should we go ahead and order your burial shroud?? 

[Canuck]

    Wait for it

[Barbara Devost]

Johan, I really liked your 'redhead' jokes, they're very accurate!

[Johan Heyns]

I really thought we would have provoked the lady enough by now to get some response, seems like she is really stubborn to stick to her goal of having the least posts!  She proved me wrong!

Unfortunately there is always someone taking on windmills.   If you look at the member profiles, she's already lost due to the silent watchers (listeners/readers/stalkers) that is listed here.   

"The most prominent place in hell is reserved for those who are neutral on the great issues of life" Anon

[Barbara Devost]

Oh by the way, I'm not 'timid by nature, soft or slow' but I would look over your things like a 'pit bull'!!
Now as for Robert, since it took all afternoon yesterday to reply back to me, I assumed you had went to get your tetanus shot!  You're officially of Jeannie's sympathy train and on the 'I told you so' train!!

Also, I grew up with three older brothers so it would take a lot more than a few 'week' jabs to get me frazzled